While I was attempting to eat my breakfast in peace at work, I found myself surrounded by others who were either complaining about their neighbors, demoralizing their colleagues or discussing general disdain for their life situations. It was extremely hard to continue to listen to all of this, and even harder not to try to redirect their conversations.
Reflect on yourself…
This life is way too short to constantly be gossiping and welcoming negativity with open arms. I recently listened to a podcast by Jay Shetty (On Purpose) and he discusses the three C’s: Comparing, Criticizing and Complaining. It is overwhelming when you are able to take a step back and observe yourself from this standpoint. Even smaller complaints or “simple” gossip can largely affect your daily life and how certain things affect you. It’s extremely draining when you are surrounded by negativity, and once you’re self-aware of this issue it becomes toxic being around those who continuously put down others or themselves.
Believe in you first, not someone else
Comparing yourself to others is one of the most common thoughts we have. Whether you’re comparing life circumstances, weight, friendships, spouses, etc. it all plays a part in how you generally feel about yourself and in turn affects your relationship with others. I am guilty of comparing myself in certain situations, but now that I am aware of it I’m able to not only catch myself in the moment but also put a positive spin on it. The next time you observe yourself comparing in any way, try to recognize that it’s simply your way of realizing what you desire and try to figure out what that means for you.
Release judgement
Criticizing is another huge habit that leads to general problems with yourself and your relationships. Whether you are being critical of yourself or others, you instill the stigma that something isn’t good enough for you. It’s very possible that you are likely criticizing those close to you and may not even be aware of it. Petty gossip such as talking about a family member behind their back or judging the person in line in front of you at the grocery store are both examples of how criticism can creep up in your daily life and put a negative twist on your values. Once you really begin to see how often this happens, it’s incredible to feel the shift as you start to create new habits that steer clear from judgment.
Perspective is key
Complaining is probably one of the harder habits to break when it comes to the three C’s. There are a few people in my life who always seem to be complaining about something/someone at all times. It’s exhausting listening to it, and even more exhausting trying to get them to see a different perspective. If you compare complaining to the Law of Attraction, it makes a lot of sense that the complaints seem to never end. What you put out, you always get back! Very few people can take a step back and realize that they are the common denominator in their problems. Every single situation can always be viewed in a positive light, even if it may seem impossible. The minute you decide to replace your complaint with something you’re thankful for, you will immediately feel better and those around you will notice this shift as well.
It’s not easy to turn the magnifying glass on yourself and realize the negative habits you have made your norm. But once you really make an effort to notice when you’re comparing, criticizing or complaining, the easier it will become to not only notice these habits but to break them. You are the only one in control of your life and how you react to it. No one else can take the wheel for you and steer you in a positive direction. You have to want it for yourself, but once you do decide to make this shift you will be amazed at the opportunities that open for you.